Fleeting Thoughts |
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Feelings are our natural guidance system.
While we strive for feelings of love, excitement, joy and happiness, we often don't allow ourselves to feel sad, furious or scared. We feel guilty for feeling angry. We don't show others that we are disappointed or sad. We don't listen to that inner voice that warns us. Not allowing ourselves to feel all our feelings, in the long run can cause depression, addiction or abuse. We usually label our feelings "positive" or "negative", but those labels have no validity. Our Feelings come as a package. All or nothing. We cannot experience light without darkness and we cannot feel the highs of joy without the lows of sadness and pain. I compare feelings to Best Friends Forever. They love us and accept us and tell us honestly, what they see. They are happy to come in for a cuppa and a chat. Of course, they are not perfect and have their flaws. They seem to have the tendency to come unexpected and turn up at our door at an inappropriate time. If we don't let them in immediately they keep on knocking, until we open the door. They are very persistent. The longer we ignore them standing out there, the more they knock and the more of them will be joining in, insisting to enter. We fight them off and might get so exhausted, that we don't have any energy left. We might use alcohol or drugs to block out the racket behind our door. Because we don't listen to our BFF gut feeling yelling at us, that something isn't right, we might permit the development of abuse and accept it. We allow it because self-love and self-worth might have never entered our homes. Or maybe they have gone fishing, until we're ready to let them back in. If we haven't allowed the "negative" feelings in for a while, we'll get scared. We might fear that, if we let in sadness we'll never stop crying. We might worry that, if we allow our anger to come in, our rage will be so massive, that we might hurt ourselves or others. What is the worst, that could happen if we let them in? Suppose, you kept them out with the help of alcohol. You stop drinking and there they are! They storm your house, and yes, probably will cause havoc at first. After all, they have been waiting to get in for quite some time. They are annoyed and want to let off steam, all of them talking at once. But they won't harm you. Feelings don't harm us, we harm ourselves by not listening to them. Like any friend, they just want to be accepted and be close. We usually get close to others by listening to them and telling them about us without judging or being judged. Instead of shutting feelings out, let them in. It will feel weird, because it's a new situation. Let them sit on your sofa and let them have their say. You might not like what they are telling you. Listen to them anyway. Instead of judging them (I shouldn't feel angry; I mustn't cry;) accept them as who they are and thank them for their honesty. Hit a pillow, cry your eyes out for as long as you need to. It will pass. They'll speak up, have their cuppa, and leave. They'll come back, but in a much more orderly fashion. You don't need to do this on your own. There's a lot of help out there. If you feel overwhelmed by the range of whats on offer, I can help you sorting it out. I am not a therapist. I can help you to find your solutions If you are worried that you might get harmed or might harm yourself or others, contact Emergency, Police or any Crisis Intervention Service.
1 Kommentti
That's up to us. First of all: My heart goes out to all those who suffer from CoVid-19 and their families and friends! We are asked to stay at home and away from big crowds to avoid the spreading of the virus and the breakdown of the health system. I have NO reason to complain or worry. I am healthy. I am NOT suffocating. I am NOT dying alone without my loved ones to hold my hand. My loved ones are healthy. Staying at home, is the least I can do. What do Adult Education & Lifelong Learning have to do with Covid? These are challenging times. Even before Covid, demographic change (more people are getting older, while less children are born) and rapid technological advancement have affected the way we communicate, work, date, learn, live our lives. The world is changing constantly. Who likes change? Change can be scary and the feeling of powerlessness can be overwhelming. With so much information going round, we don't know what's true anymore. Who can we trust? What can we believe? The current pandemic shows us our limits but also our opportunities. It took away our illusion of being in control. For the time being, we need to let go of freedoms that many of us had taken for granted. With freedom comes responsibility. Like any crisis, this time gives us a possibility for re-thinking our values and ideas about ourselves and our life. So, what do Adult Education & Lifelong Learning have to do with Corona? We need to learn to deal with this situation. We can learn to stay at home without hitting the walls. We have the possibility to learn how to use internet platforms in order to stay in social contact. We HAVE to learn to help each other and yet take good care of ourselves. Adult Education & Lifelong Learning are important concepts from economical, political and social perspectives. They all affect and influence each other. From an economical perspective, competitiveness and maximum profit can only be gained if employees are either on the edge of development by educating themselves further, or stay uneducated in low-paid jobs. Politics are influenced by economical agendas. Social stability often is related to economical and political stability. This is a wake-up call. We are waking up and can see how important the underpaid sectors of service, Healthcare & Social welfare are. I hope that those who work in these fields will be shown appreciation not only through standing ovations, but through pay-rise and development of infrastructure. Financial budgets should be adjusted, to make the employment of more professionals in the field possible. People who care for people need time to care for themselves. You cannot give, what you don't have. SAVING HAS NO PLACE IN THE SOCIAL AND HEALTH SECTOR. I think it's time to unlearn certain believes and to learn new ways of living. Be true to yourself. Love what you do. Do what you love. Today.  My aim is to create a safe space, in which I listen to you and share with you my own knowledge and experiences. I am a problem solver. This doesn't mean, that I am going to solve your problems for you. It means, that I have ideas on how to approach a situation differently. My aim is to help you find your own solutions. If my ideas or capacities aren't enough, I'll find out, where you could get help. As human beings we are a synthesis of physiological, mental, cognitive, social and spiritual factors. They are all equally important for our well-being. Well-being can be defined broadly as "the state of feeling comfortable, healthy or happy". (Oxford) While "healthy" can be measured objectively to a certain extend, feeling healthy, comfortable and happy are very subjective. They are not dependent on the outside world, even though we like to blame everything and everybody else for our frustrations. If a pair of shoes helps you to feel better, great! I don't buy shoes. I am more of a bag-person. But at some point I realised that on top of feeling miserable, my closet was cracking at the seams with all these bags I never used. I slowly came to understand the meaning of "Contentment is an inside job" and that my bags weren't going to help me. Having said this, I would like to add "feeling safe" to the definition above. If you are living with any form of abuse (emotional, mental, physical, sexual, spiritual) or with active drug or alcohol addiction, the question of shoes or bags is probably not significant. Living with abuse of any form, is harmful to personal well-being. It doesn't matter, whether you are the abuser or the abused. Now comes the part I didn't like to hear, when I felt miserable: YOUR contentment and your Well-being is YOUR job. It's your life. You can do with it, what you want. If you are not "happy" or if there's anything that makes your life difficult and you would like to change it, do it! Or don't. It's your life. If you are anything like me and many others I have met, you probably didn't like reading this. Maybe you've heard it all before and think that it's too late now anyway. Change is scary. Doing it alone, is even scarier. I have been there and I can assure you that You are not alone. Believe it or not. There are many people out there, who have gone through similar experiences. "The earlier, the better" is not necessarily true. I needed to go through some rough times before I was willing and able to change and it took the time it took. I don't regret any of the experiences I have had and I don't think I wasted my time. I firmly believe that it's never too late for change and it's never too late to learn and to broaden my view on life. Thank you and have a good day. Pia Be true to yourself. Love what you do. Do what you love. Today.
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